Please note that there is no foolproof way of knowing someone is a drug addict unless you catch them in the act as various signs of addiction can also indicate things such as depression, stress and emotional trauma.
If you find someone displaying the signs listed though, you need to find out what’s going on because something is going on—be it drug addiction or something else.
The Reason for Addiction
Before looking at symptoms of addiction, let’s look at the reasons for it. This will, in turn, help you as you will understand if and why your boyfriend is using.
If there is no underlying reason, chances are he isn’t. However, prescription drugs and heavy partying can lead to addiction, even if there are no other underlying issues.
There are many reasons people start using drugs: insecurities, anxiety, shyness, depression, a need to perform better (whether athletically or intellectually), a desire to fit in with a new group of friends, a need for increased sexual desire, an inability to sleep, constant tiredness and mental and physical trauma.
Drugs are a short-term solution to a problem. The issue lies in the fact that drugs will not cure the underlying problem(s) and whilst some drugs are necessary in the short term, if someone keeps using, they will soon be addicted to the drug and feel terrible without it. And they won’t always have the strength to stay away from it for long enough for their brain chemistry to change back to normal.
Addicts think that they are in control when they start using drugs and, therefore, do not fear they will become addicts. For example, they feel calm rather than anxious when they take a certain pill, so they keep taking it.
Slowly, but surely, they become addicted and would suffer severe withdrawal symptoms if they don’t get the drug. The drug, over time, also changes their brain chemistry, so even if they’ve been clean for some time, they may easily relapse. However, brain chemistry can change if they stay clean for longer periods of time.
A very interesting investigation into addiction by Johann Hari led him to believe that there is always an underlying cause for addiction and that addicts should not be punished for their addiction, but rather helped to overcome the underlying cause. He backs this up with various studies into recovery success rates.
If you suspect your boyfriend is using, what are the reasons for him starting to use drugs? Are there any obvious ones?
Behavioral Changes
Most drug addiction starts gradually and that’s how people fool themselves thinking they’re in control. Once addicted, most addicts live in denial. The drugs will alter their perception of reality.The addiction will make them justify things people thinking clearly never would. Stealing, lying and getting violent under influence or withdrawal, seem normal to them. For them, the important thing is the drug and they will do what it takes to get the drug.
They somehow justify any action they think will bring them closer to their next fix, and once they get their fix, they are high and often don’t think clearly either. As a result, their behavior changes without them even realizing at times, but as an observer you likely will.
Some drug misuse is harder to detect through behavioral changes though as a) some addicts don’t use as much as others, and b) some drugs affect people’s behavior less. Addicts do not necessarily get really violent, or do outrageous things, whether they are high or suffering withdrawal. After all, using smaller doses of coke three times a week is a problem, but it is not likely to make the user go crazy.
There are still ways of detecting minor changes of behavior.
For example, I once dated a guy very briefly who I thought was very shy in some ways. Then, one night, we went out for dinner and he suddenly seemed a lot more confident and talkative. I really enjoyed the dinner as I felt this was what he had lacked on previous dates. However, we didn’t see each other many more times after that.
Some time later, for who knows what reason, I thought back to that night and the thought that came to me was that the guy was on coke. Of course, I had no proof of that, so I didn’t think about it further until a few weeks later when I met a common friend of ours (I didn’t know it was a common friend) who told me this guy was, or had been, a serious coke user.
We all have different levels of confidence depending on the situation. For example, I love being on stage whether I perform or give presentations. I’m good at most business meetings, and I’m great with small groups of people and one-to-one.
Big parties, however, were never my thing as I was bullied in school and I am still learning to feel 100% comfortable around large groups of people. Just because I’m more animated in one situation than another does not mean I’m using drugs.
Behavioral changes you can look out for:
- sudden personality or confidence changes, especially if they are not situation dependent
- sudden increase in energy without positive lifestyle changes to accompany it (such as getting fit, sleeping properly, eating well, etc.) or suddenly becoming hyper active
- sudden change of friends, withdrawal from friends, or a period of being hyper social
- lack of motivation and being generally spaced out
- increased happiness to the point of giddiness
- excessive tiredness or drowsiness
- stealing (to support their addiction)
- lack of interest in physical appearance
- sudden increase in motivation
- secretive/suspicious behavior
- decreased coordination
- changes in appetite
- inability to concentrate
- inability to sleep
- mood swings
- lying
- paranoia
- anxiety
Physical Changes
Drugs affect the body. Some bodily changes are easier to spot than others, but if you look close enough, you may detect them.
- change of body odor
- extremely dilated (large) or contracted (small) pupils, especially if light doesn’t change the size of pupils as normal (light naturally makes your pupils contract and darkness make them dilate to let in more light)
- bloodshot eyes (may suddenly start using eye drops to try to cover this up)
- runny nose; sniffling
- irregular heartbeat
- slurred speech
- injection marks
- rashes or spots
- hallucinations
- glassy eyes
- weight gain
- weight loss
- puffy face
- coughing
- vomiting
- sweating
- twitching
- tremors
In Closing
If you discover your boyfriend is using drugs, inform yourself before you speak to him. Contact Narcotics Anonymous to talk to someone. Look through the resources I’ve listed below as well.It’s easy to get angry with someone, or confront them in a way that will not help them. Do your research and talk to professionals before you approach the issue. I’ve worked in drug rehabilitation, and know how difficult it can be. Drug addicts need love and support in addition to professional help, be it attending Narcotics Anonymous (NA) or going to rehab—often rehab followed by NA. The sooner the problem is dealt with, the better.
Also, know that you can’t always help someone. You can be there for them and support them; you can bring them professional help (and yes: forcing it upon them is sometimes necessary. After some time in rehab they often see the light), and you can alert friends and family, but that’s it.
Additional Resources
We found the following information, which may be of interest to you.
From helpguide:
MYTH 1: Overcoming addiction is a simply a matter of willpower. You can stop using drugs if you really want to. Prolonged exposure to drugs alters the brain in ways that result in powerful cravings and a compulsion to use. These brain changes make it extremely difficult to quit by sheer force of will.
MYTH 2: Addiction is a disease; there’s nothing you can do about it. Most experts agree that addiction is a brain disease, but that doesn’t mean that you’re a helpless victim. The brain changes associated with addiction can be treated and reversed through therapy, medication, exercise and other treatments.
MYTH 3: Addicts have to hit rock bottom before they can get better. Recovery can begin at any point in the addiction process—and the earlier, the better. The longer drug abuse continues, the stronger the addiction becomes and the harder it is to treat. Don’t wait to intervene until the addict has lost it all.
MYTH 4: You can’t force someone into treatment; they have to want help. Treatment doesn’t have to be voluntary to be successful. People who are pressured into treatment by their family, employer or the legal system are just as likely to benefit as those who choose to enter treatment on their own. As they sober up and their thinking clears, many formerly resistant addicts decide that they want to change.
MYTH 5: Treatment didn’t work before, so there’s no point trying again. Recovery from drug addiction is a long process that often involves setbacks. Relapse doesn’t mean that treatment has failed or that you’re a lost cause. Rather, it’s a signal to get back on track either by going back to treatment or adjusting the treatment approach.
Don’t…
- attempt to punish, threaten, bribe or preach.
- try to be a martyr. Avoid emotional appeals that may only increase feelings of guilt and the compulsion to use drugs.
- cover up or make excuses for the drug abuser, or shield them from the negative consequences of their behavior.
- take over their responsibilities leaving them with no sense of importance or dignity.
- hide or throw out drugs.
- argue with the person when they are high.
- take drugs with the drug abuser.
- feel guilty or responsible for another person’s behavior.